Towards
Happiness
Towards Happiness
LOVE
Find It. Keep It.
LOVE
Find It. Keep It.
Ask
Yourself
Is it necessary to always withhold a fragment of my heart, even if it's just for self-preservation?
This question poses a significant challenge, as the delight of love often lies in offering yourself without reservation.
Ultimately, your only recourse is to rely on your inner strength to guide you through the complexities of love.
Finding Love
The key to finding and nurturing love lies in the ability to make choices that align with our individual needs and objectives. It is essential for each person to cultivate self-awareness while also defining their own understanding of love. Additionally, being mindful of how our needs align with those of our partner is crucial, as love solely driven by self-interest can lead to a lack of empathy and a coarsening of our emotional sensitivity.
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Therefore, love necessitates a dual awareness that oscillates between both individuals, acknowledging that at times one person's needs may take precedence over the other's. However, in a healthy and sustainable love, this dynamic finds balance through ongoing reciprocation and continual adjustment between partners. Love is a continuous process of calibration, where both individuals strive to meet each other's needs and maintain a harmonious connection.
Keeping Love
What sets my approach apart is the emphasis on how individuals actively pursue love rather than simply remaining stagnant in a state of being "in" love. I prioritize the ongoing process of love rather than focusing solely on reaching a fixed ultimate state. I refrain from providing a definitive list of specific elements required to find and sustain love because I believe that love is a multifaceted journey. It involves navigating the ever-changing dimensions of personal growth, transformation, and the unpredictable challenges that love presents.
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I recognize that love is not a one-size-fits-all formula, and while well-intended advice may provide some guidance, it cannot fully encompass the complexities and unique circumstances that individuals encounter. Instead, I encourage individuals to actively engage in their own personal exploration and growth, adapting and evolving their approach to love as they navigate life's twists and turns. By embracing the dynamic nature of love, we can better navigate its challenges and foster genuine connections that endure.
Dr. Ahron Friedberg's Approach
Prioritizing the individual and their unique circumstances is crucial for finding contentment in love, peace of mind, and joy. There is no one-size-fits-all solution for sustaining love. My approach begins with personal growth and self-fulfillment, extending outward to navigating relationships within individual contexts.
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Love is complex and ever-changing. It requires continuous effort, self-reflection, and reciprocity to keep it vibrant and evolving. While this approach may be more challenging than a checklist or formula, it is rooted in my extensive experience working with patients over twenty-five years. They have prioritized self-worth and personal growth to improve their romantic lives.
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Ultimately, my approach encourages individuals to prioritize their well-being, pursue personal growth, and engage in reciprocal efforts to foster love and happiness within their unique circumstances.
Dr. Ahron Friedberg's
Psychology Today ​Blog
FEELINGS
Ask Yourself These Questions:
At various times in our lives, we struggle with passions that we may not understand but that still seem to control us.
We think “if I understood this feeling, maybe it wouldn’t be love – and I don’t even want to understand sex.”
Nonetheless, such impulses can drive us to distraction, sometimes to the point where we cannot cope with any aspect of our lives.
So, the questions become:
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How do we sustain the intensity of these feelings (which can be immensely pleasurable) while keeping them from wreaking havoc?
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How do we learn to love generously, and to approach sex so that no one is emotionally damaged?
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How do we balance intense relationships with everything else in our lives (which sometimes include conflicting relationships)?
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How do we resolve feelings of guilt?
Feelings
Ask Yourself These Questions:
At various times in our lives, we struggle with passions that we may not understand but that still seem to control us. We think “if I understood this feeling, maybe it wouldn’t be love – and I don’t even want to understand sex.” Nonetheless, such impulses can drive us to distraction, sometimes to the point where we cannot cope with any aspect of our lives. So, the questions become:
​
-
How do we sustain the intensity of these feelings (which can be immensely pleasurable) while keeping them from wreaking havoc?
​
-
How do we learn to love generously, and to approach sex so that no one is emotionally damaged?
​
-
How do we balance intense relationships with everything else in our lives (which sometimes include conflicting relationships)?
​
-
How do we resolve feelings of guilt?